I know I haven't posted in awhile. I have been enjoying my time off and my attempt to do absolutely nothing. Although there are some things that I have had to deal with that has been quite stressful I have been for the most part enjoying myself and just relaxing. I have watched a bunch of movies so far and plan to watch a whole lot more. So far this has been not too bad of a break. Sure there are more things I need to accomplish or that I should accomplish but I decided that I am going to try and do nothing.
Today I am 36 weeks! It is amazing to think about I am basically full-term. Well, I thought I was today but other things I read I guess technically it is 37 weeks so I guess I have a week. Although, considering my last ultrasound she was measuring two weeks ahead... so who knows...but all in all I feel very much ready for her to come. Almost anxious. Even though there is still a whole lot that needs to be sorted out and I had to recently switch rooms around so I am feeling like I have to readjust to that I am definitely feeling the anxiousness to hold her, smell her, cuddle with her and all that fun stuff!
I also took a class on breastfeeding and that did help somewhat calm my nerves about it. I am still a little uncertain but I have to say that hearing some other benefits of breastfeeding I am feeling a bit more excited. They explained because of releasing certain hormones and oxytocin (I am sure that is spelled wrong) that it helps with post paartum depression. Although, it can still happen to me that is excellent way to go to help avoid something I am almost fearful will happen. Thank you to all for those comments and words of encouragement since that post about my depression.
Today I got excited because although it felt like any other Sunday, I realized next year it will be different. I will have almost a one year old to spend the holiday with. I didn't feel so alone today. People asked me if I was doing anything and I really wasn't but I was okay with not having really any plans. It is amazing how I don't feel alone right now. I feel like although she is still inside of me that soon she wont be and it will be her and I.
I am laughing right now because as I am typing this she is moving around so I keep stopping and feeling her move. I have to admit I will miss the movements but I know it will be more awesome to have her here.
It is a strange thing to be so sad and so happy at the same time.
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