Sunday, February 10, 2013

Life or something like it...

I feel this is more like a journal, well it is similar to, when I don't in it for a very long time and my first line is "sorry, I haven't written in a while."

Well, sorry I haven't written in a while.  I first want to start off by stating that I have been blog writing but on my business one...  Check it out! Seriously.

I wanted to write a blog because I am overwhelmed with life right now. Not a bad overwhelmed. But a good one. I don't necessarily want to gloat or be boisterious, not at all, but, you know when you are happy you just want the whole world to know how happy you are? Yeah, it is like that. I hope that my happiness is infectious and others will see how amazing their life is as well and want to send praises and excitement out into the universe so that the goodness will reign down on all the earth so love and peace can be dominate in this crazy world... and breathe...

...point is, I know some of you used to keep up with me reading my blog and so if you are wondering (in no particular order of importance after number 1):

Happiness #1: My daughter. She is growing like a weed! I am so grateful for her. I am amazed how smart she is. Infact, was told by professionals that she indeed is smart. Yay. Well it doesn't take a professional to know the intelligence of my kid. I think most kids are super smart anyways but there is something amazing about my daughter. She outsmarts me from time to time. I love teaching her words, especially when she says "zebra" and it comes out as "Sara" or teaching her "Heather" sounds like "Hebu".

Happiness #2: My career. Okay, this could actually be better but it is getting there. However, I am doing so many awesome graphic design projects right now and other photography projects... and I have some ideas brewing. I have also decided that while living practically rent free I am going to write up a business plan to help get grants and things. I love the idea of being a boss and running a company so why not do it right now?

Happiness #3: My spirituality.  Okay, so, I know I have talked about my spiritual growth in the past and little about my religion but not sure I have ever expressed that yes, I believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and yes, my beliefs are of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or as it said "I am Mormon." And the more I am digging deeper and deeper into the more I believe. More specifically today was amazing and I feel that God is listening and that he is definitely mindful of me and my needs. I have a calling working with the young women and I hope I can do it well.

Happiness #4: A Love Interest.  Not going into much detail, as it is still developing, I will say that there is someone that I am involved with. In short, is wow. Have you ever met someone and you were like "there you are." There is a peace, a familiarity, well, lets just say that he definitely has my attention. It was weird how we met and came to even be. It will hopefully be a story I will tell later on. But for now I am excited to see where this one goes and a little, a lot, hopeful that it will be rest of my life one. But, I am not going to jinx it! Most importantly, I am going to take every moment I can with it.

Sure, there are things I am missing, like my friends. I miss my friends that are far away but they are all still so amazing. I have friends close to where I am but still hard to see them. I do miss Kitsap County. Being so close to the shopping needs but still be among trees. But, all in all I feel like my life seriously has gotten significantly better since I have dedicated myself to my daughter, my faith, my spirituality and being positive on life.

I hope your life is just as blessed as mine because, well, I love all of you!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Relationship Lengths: The Logic of Three

This post stems from a fun conversation I had the other night and my logical, or illogical, break down of the amount of time of stages in a relationship. I call it Logic of Three.

Three Day Stage. It takes three days of solid communication to get to know someone to make you realize that you want to see or talk to them frequently. It can start with a first date but sometimes it ends with the first date. With our abilities to communicate in so many ways it is either via texting or long telephone conversations. As time progresses and dates more frequent during this three week period it then leads to the next stage, Three Week Stage.

Three Week Stage. After three weeks you pretty much know if you are heading into the next stage or that it is time to just remain friends. This is what the new kids are calling "Determine the Relationship" or a DTR discussion. This is what makes the next stage happen. If you determine that you actually want to be serious it usually happens after three weeks of solid communication and dating. This DTR discussion can take one night to up to a week to establish. If it is a nae, then that sucks but usually the friendship has been saved. If it is a yea, then onto the next, Three Month Stage.

Three Month Stage. This starts after the DTR is established. During the three month stage a lot of the making an impression attitude wears off and real life seeps in a little bit more. At the end of three months it is usually the point where you know if the relationship is doomed or has a potential. Sometimes you hold on a month or two longer to see if you are just scared or really feeling the end. But if the relationship does end you pretty much can pin point it to the three month mark that things started to change or manifest itself to doom-hood. Sometime you can remain friends but usually at this point if there is a break-up the friendship is over too.

Now, there are exceptions to the rule. Also, it doesn't have to be consecutive but it makes it that much more successful if it is. There is part of the logic that comes at three years too. But, that is more in depth and complicated and I can't reveal all in case I decide to write a book about this. But, that was a brief description about my Logic of Three in a relationship. 

You have to admit it is pretty accurate and logical. I have had, and have witnessed, many relationships to come to this logical conclusion. 

Monday, December 31, 2012

Auld Lang Syne

Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!

Chorus.-For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.  

I think this song has more meaning to me this year seeing that I have made some major changes in the last year. As I have been moping around the house all day because I extremely miss my friends up north. I realized that part of my reasons because I truly do miss them and hope that they don't forget me and I forget them.

Reflection on this last year amazes me how much my family went through, how much my daughter has grown. She speaks so much and understands way more. Incredible!  I have gone through so many personal, physical and spiritual changes.

New love, loss, grief, pain, joy, achievments, moving, new, rekindled, here there and everwhere in between it makes me wonder what this next year will bring. Some things old will stay and some things new will come but whatever it is, I am looking forward to it. 

I may love again, loose again, find joy and pain again... achieve goals, find new and rekindle old... here or there and everywhere in between I really do look forward to 2013.

(Wow this post is kind of poetic.)

Happy New Year 

to my 

wonderful and amazing

Friends and Family   

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Well, good news first. I am down 41lbs! So excited! (All just from jogging a few times a week and being careful what I eat.)

Today on my jog the air was thick and heavy with fog. Out of all the days I decided to try and wear a pull over sweater. I felt like I was wearing ten extra pounds. But as the jog went on I got used to the sweater.

Now, my new path where I live now, which is back in my old hometown, it on a road that is mostly straight for a good portion of the route. But there are some curves. As I headed out this morning I was a bit concered about the fog. It was pretty thick and I was afraid that traffic, even though it is sporadic, may not see me. But, I pressed on. I was wearing bright colors and most of the places are safe for me to jump off the road if need be.

Now, being in the back country there is also a concern of animals. There was a report of a, I believe a bobcat, the other week. I am on guard when I am jogging. I do pass by a couple of farms with mostly cows and chickens but so far so good. However, today in this thick fog I can see a black shadow moving up head. I question if I should still be jogging or just stop and go home. I couldn't stop. I have a goal to jog everyday and I wasn't going to let some mountain lion or creature get in my way! As I got closer I could clearly see it was a dog. Still on guard I passed it. It started to chase me! However, I looked over and saw this huge grin and it's long pink tongue hanging out. I only laughed and continued on. Eventually it lost interested and went off onto the Golf Course.

As I was jogging through the fog and listening to epic music. I thought back to the dog and how I wasn't sure what it was. I thought of my life and how it does feel like I am going through the fog. That I see black shadowy things that make me scared and want to just stop and turn around. I feel like I am wearing so many heavy sweaters but they do get lighter.

I have had so many ups and downs and hopes and failures in the last month and half. Between being homeless, careless and relationships. However, as I am coming through the fog things that look big and scary have not been such. They end up being good and make me laugh.

Again, I am still pressing forward. I am hopeful of things to come. I still don't know where some important things are going to lead but I feel like I have a lot to accomplish and I am going to be okay and finish my jog even though I can't see clearly ahead.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Homelessness and Thanksgiving

I know it has been a while since I updated this, not entirely sure who reads it, but regardless I am sending my thoughts and life out into the world.

Things in my life have been up in the air. Like I said, I left my little trailer home in Silverdale. This life as a nomad isn't entirely what it is cracked up to be. I am grateful for my friends and family that have opened their home to my daughter and I. I have slept in 5 different homes in the last two weeks. If anything I have learned from this gypsie lifestyle is that I am definitely no gypsie.

It is a need for me to know where I am going home too. In the past I can honestly say I was not that way, I think I would be okay but now but, I have a daughter to think about, who magically has done considerably well for what she has been put through. Yet, she will have to endure craziness for at least another week as I will be here and there and there in between.

So, as it is Thanksgiving, I have so much to be thankful for. It feels like I am more aware of it than in the past. As my heart is full and my belly will soon be too. I am thankful to be with my mom on this day, it is just her, Naomi and I. It is probably going to be one of the greatest Thanksgivings. Not that the others were or will be great but I am thankful that I am not out in the cold, hungry and alone. That even my state of homelessness I have had places to go that have been warm and inviting.

They say home is where the heart is. That means I at least have 5 different homes because my heart and love is at least in those five places.

However, I am going to be staying with my mom for a time while she also is giving her life a reset. I think it will be great that we can encourage and help each other figure out what is next in our lives. I will be working and looking for work, practicing the piano, building my faith and jogging as much as possible during my time here. 

I didn't expect Raymond to be a temporary home ever again but I am looking forward too it. (As long as my mom can deal with me! Ha.)

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Jogging Rant

Yesterday, I jogged my two mile route in about 15 minutes. To me that was a great victory. That was like 7.5 minute mile. Okay, so I am not yet a marathon runner. But today, today I thought I would push myself and do better than yesterday. Why not?

Either, I psyched my self out or the fact I got only three hours of sleep and battled a major charlie horse in my leg in the middle of that three hour sleep, prevented me from my goal.

Between the continual cramping in my leg and the feeling of wanting to vomit all over the road I barely made it all the way around.

I couldn't even the jog the hill.

I know, we all have bad days when it comes to jogging and working out. But still. I value my jogging time, I really only get to do it two days a week, I love how it gets me feeling good and motivated.

Not today.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


Back in June I was weighed and it was a shock to me. The weight that I was I didn't feel like I weighed that much and I looked in the mirror with rose colored glasses. I always thought that if my boobs were out further than my stomach than I was alright.

Well, my breasts grew too so that was illogical hypothesis.

Now, admitting this is kind of making me feel foolish. I never felt like I over ate or that over indulged myself. Yes, I liked having the occasional treat. I began to find that it wasn't just that I didn't eat right but in actuality I never ate enough. With my busy life as a single mom and college full-time I would go almost a day to two days without hardly eating a thing, my calorie intake on average was only 600 a day. Not. Healthy.

I started to take action. I paid more attention to what and when I was eating and my life, especially since school has finished, is more active. I have gone on a ton of hikes, hiked 27 miles on my trip, and I am exercising, mostly jogging three to four days a week. I want to do more. I have no idea what I am at now but I am not so concerned because I am taking action.

But here are some things I have been experiencing on my jogs:

I started off barely being able to jog my two mile route. There is an awkward hill that is deceiving. The 45degree grade is shockingly hard to jog up. It looks like a nice gradual incline but it definitely isn't. But over all I mostly walked it. Then I soon was jogging more of it, until I got to that hill. For about a week I would hit that hill and stop. I told a friend that the next week I would jog that entire route. And I did. I made it up that hill. I thought it was a fluke but every time since I have jogged my entire two mile route including the hill. I no longer call it going on my walg or going walgging but indeed, I am jogging.

The other day on my jog, and I don't wear my glasses when I jog, I heard something behind me and at first glance I thought it was coyote so I picked up my pace. Then getting an idea I turned around to scare it away and to my finding it was just a Min Pin dog! That made me laugh.

I am not as self-conscious as I thought. On my route I travel through very busy parts, a busy road and school zone. There is something about fat girl jogging. But anything, I feel like I am saying to the world, I am not a lazy person and I do care about myself to do something about it. It is better when I am pushing Naomi, although she is getting super heavy to push, because it says "yes, I popped this out and now I have to get my body back." All in all I don't care what people think. I jogged at the Grand Forest and was afraid there were too many people there but I jogged anyway.

Jogging in the morning is the best time, and more so in the fall! I have my epic music on and when that sun appears and I feel its warmth it is this amazing magical moment. It is so beautiful in the morning and it is a great way to start my day. I love the fog lifting and the cold crisp air.

I love jogging. I loved it when I ran cross country in high school. I am sad I didn't have the confidence then to really run the events but I loved it. I love the moment of euphoria that strikes right when you are about to give up. Jogging is my way of finding my center and giving me the strength to handle life's challenges.

I need to do it more than just a few days a week.