Thursday, April 26, 2012

Just an update

I have started many posts but seem to never finish them. I suppose because so many things have happened I am not sure where to begin. I also upkeep my photographer blog but I suppose there others who read my more personal blog.

My family went through an experience that was both spiritual and devistating. However, my sister-in-law and brother's strength is such an example and although we are grieving their loss together and I have experienced my own version of loosing a child I can't begin to explain how much I grieve for them. It was a beautiful experience in the sense that you really reflect your own beliefs and I felt how special their little boy was. Jace will be missed even though he was here for just a short time.

I made it through another semester. I scrapped by one class with a C. It seems to get more difficult. I believe that I am just tired of school and I am so close to finishing. I also feel so ready to go on with my life. I am however also scared. I want to be a photographer and that is a difficult career. I have to be deligent and active with seeking work and projects. I am applying for a part time job while I finish school but in my mind I keep saying "but, but, but my photography should be my job." However, it is difficult to get clients to do portraits when there are so many other established photographers that people know. I understand this. That is why I am going to work harder and not give up.

I know I am a talented photographer. I just need to stick with it and keep at it. I can't get discouraged. I have my daughter to take care of. I am looking forward to this project come September. I have a good feeling about it and I think it could become something more than we imagined.

Speaking of my daughter, she is almost a year. She is walking and happily saying "yeah" and "mama" all the time. I cannot believe how much she has grown. I don't see my little baby anymore I see a toddler! She is so amazing and so very smart. I think she is going to definitely give me a run for my money.

I feel like giving up some days but I feel the end is almost here. For now, I will enjoy snuggling with my daughter and trying my hardest to survive and make it through my final semester of school.