I have had to say that I really haven't experienced many baby dreams. Yet. I have, however, had my usual string of dreams about guys or other odd situations. I probably have had two baby dreams but I don't remember them much. I suppose it is a good thing? I honestly was looking forward to some crazy dreams! Does that make me crazy? Perhaps not. I just usually have some intense dreams and so when I heard about pregnancy dreams I got excited!
Nothing yet though. Perhaps my life is so crazy and weird anyway why have dreams?
I will tell you the dreams that I am having are like pregnancy related dreams, I think. I have a reoccurring dream about jogging that has started since I quit my job. Perhaps this is symbolic? I am going down my street and down to the waterfront park. I can feel the wind rushing by but my ipodnano is on full blast. I am so happy because I feel free. I am happy that I am working out again and getting my body back into shape. I can feel the endorphins pumping through. It feels amazing...until I wake up.
In reality I am laying there feeling fat and bloated. I awkwardly move about throughout the day. I didn't think that getting big would effect me like it has. I suppose because I was dropping pounds before the whole pregnancy thing just to see it there again and now see my tummy extrude past my breasts make it more daunting that I will have to back to where I was last July. It feels like the situation of Sisyphus, from Greek mythology, who was condemned by the Greek gods for his trickery to push a rock up the hill just to watch it roll back down for eternity.
I hope I don't have to fight this weight for eternity but it feels that way. I am looking forward to be able to go jogging again. I hope I can get back that motivation that I had last summer. I hope by the dreams that I have been having I will.
I guess I will just have to be happy with my dreams for now.
Don't give up on the pregnancy dreams just yet. I didn't have any until the last month and a half, they were plenty crazy!
ReplyDeleteDon't give up on your dreams ;) and also don't give up on working out. You might not be able to jog right now, but you should still keep as active as you comfortably can. Walk to the water front park with music blasting... It'll make it a lot easier to keep a workout routine when the baby is born. You'll be able to jog again and the habit will allow yourself the me time you are so sorely going to need. lol. You are so brave being a single Mom! You're already beautiful no matter what you look like.
ReplyDeleteYeah so funny story. That night after I wrote the I had the craziest pregnancy dream and in my dream I knew it was a dream! I gave birth in the dream! lol. I know I had it because I wrote the blog! :D
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