I know this blog would happen eventually. It seems though that appropriate time is now. Okay, maybe not ever but I have got to vent about it.
I know 100% without a shadow of a doubt that breastfeeding is a good good thing to do. The benefits all the way around definitely outweigh formula. It seems that most mother's who can't breastfeed are slightly disappointed that they are unable too. But regardless of this belief and knowledge, I am terrified to breastfeed. Absolutely silly to fear.
It causes some serious angst. One reason I wont go into but over all I have not a clue why it terrifies me so. I am thinking it is because I will be going to school and having to pump there seems... weird. Granted I live 10 minutes away so I can go home to do it. But then even that just seems... uncomfortable and wrong! I know everyone is trying to be encouraging and giving me advice about it but there is some deep rooted fear about it and I can't exactly explain as to why. I am more terrified of breastfeeding than I am of the birthing process! (We all know how terrified I am of that!)
I am hoping that all these fears will just subside when it comes to doing it and I will laugh and say "why was I so worried?"
On a plus note, I get to have another ultrasound tomorrow. I am so excited! It is great to be able to see her again and maybe I will know what part of her body she keeps liking to jab my right side with!
I wish I lived closer, I would be your doula!! Breastfeeding can get scary. However, the longer you do it, the easier it gets. It can be challenging at times, but overall it's worth it. Give it a shot, you'll be glad you did. You have nothing to lose :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I was pregnant with my first, I was terrified that my child wouldn't be cute. Silly thing to be terrified about, but I was nonetheless. It wasn't even something that anyone could fix for me, I just had to deal with it until the day they handed me my baby, I looked at him, and all those fears were gone, and I thought, "What was I thinking? He's mine, and he's perfect." I hope that it will be the same way for you. Breastfeeding can seem really scary, but it's just new. Once the time comes, you'll be just fine and hopefully it'll be the same kind of thing. You can think, "What was I thinking?" If you ever want to talk about it, let me know! I'm always willing to talk if you need to.
ReplyDeleteNot sure how to make you feel better, here's a hug. *HUG*. There....all better. :)
ReplyDeleteYou guys are awesome! I love you all! I realized I can't look at pictures and I am okay. If you start showing me stuff is when I get all weird! Haha. Thanks for the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteAli, I'm a bit stunned actually to be reading what sounds like me not too long ago. I was terrified of breastfeeding! For lots of reasons...but about two minutes after my daughter was born she started reaching for me and latched on. I was terrified for all of two seconds and then it was..."OH MY WORD. This is what they meant!" All the fears, hurts, and terrors just melted into pointlessness in the face of the tiny person.
ReplyDelete