Dating...?

I know it's been a few days since I posted anything but there has been a lot on my mind. Especially this last week. I know this blog would happen eventually. Considering it is a huge topic of concern for a single mom.

Dating.

Granted. I have not had the best track record. But isn't that why they call it dating? Don't you go on a dates to see if this person is the one? I know I tend to jump all the way in full force and that backfires because I think I put too much hope and trust in the person. And well, to be honest... I think I've been burned because here I am about to be single mom. Isn't that a big enough consequence?

I am fully aware that my actions here on out will have a direct consequence to someone more important than myself. My daughter.

But does that mean I have to ignore it when a guy asks me out? Or turn him down when he decides to go in for a kiss? I am a pregnant woman (or soon to be mom) so it is nice when a guy who is attracted to me wants to kiss me! I am still a single woman! As my roommate put it "you're not dead." But unfortunately any guy I decide to date I am fully ready for them to change their mind. I am trying to make it through dating and my situation with less drama as possible too.

Dating was complicated before because of still hurting over certain past events and adding the thought in back of my mind "is this guy going to be good as a father for my daughter?" just makes it more difficult and harder for me. Her happiness is just as important as mine when it comes to fully letting a man into my life as a potential father and husband.

I think about this every night as I lay down alone and feel her kicking and moving around with no one to turn to and say "Oh my gosh, feel this!" and share that excitement. I am not looking for a pitty party, I know I have friends and roommates who like to feel but it is different when it your significant other, but I think I am fully aware of where I am at and what decisions I am making.

So please, have a little bit of faith in me. I know, you love me, whatever. But here it is flat out for everyone to read. I am not stupid and lot more resilient than you think. I own up to my decisions and if I didn't want the best for my daughter I wouldn't have made some already difficult decisions. I am not putting myself out there but I am not going to turn down a date or a kiss either.

We all deserve our chance at love and happiness and that includes taking those risks of handing our heart out there at any point in our life.