Finals, Dreams and Realities

This last week has been a crazy week! Well, last two weeks really. Who knew I had the ability to sit at my computer for so long without getting up and walking around. Finals started with me editing photographs I took and ended with my pie animation with a test (I totally passed) and a paper in between. One thing I learned this last semester is how much being a photographer means to me. How big of a dream it is for me to be a high end fashion photographer. The projects that were more open and creative were a little more challenging but I still produced some great photographs but the ones I took in the studio were amazing and was the thrill. They weren't like your rigid family portraits they are more into the magazine like ones. I love it. I also got excited to think that when my baby is born I can save a ton of money because why pay a photographer when I can do it myself! But, I did however get a moment where I realized school was going to get more difficult and I am going to get more pregnant and soon a baby will be here. So juggling a baby, work plus a full school work load x2... eeep.

I think that is why I am having more dreams. I dream about the oddest things, seeing my therapist in busy locations to where I can't talk to him (who ironically is a woman in my dreams) or loosing all of my possessions. All the while I am at the end of my pregnancy. People say they have baby dreams but I am still very much pregnant in these ones and these hard situations are presenting themselves. I am sure as I go a long the dreams will change.

At least the reality is right now I have two weeks to pack my things for the move, visit my family, work and relax. Whatever else is in the future will happen when it happens and I will deal with it when it happens. Am I worried about moving? Of course. Am I worried about visiting my family? Yes, a little bit. Am I worried about work? You betcha! And really, worried about relaxing? Yes believe it or not (I hate not feeling productive but relaxing is very important.) But like anything else in life when you deal with it as it happens it makes it easier to deal with. You can only prepare so much.

Last night I was laying to go to sleep and my hand was resting on where the baby would be, I said out loud to the dark room, "I am having a baby. I've always dreamed about having a baby." I think now that finals were over, I remembered my dream, and for once realized that dream was an absolute reality and it didn't matter what the situation was.