Bit of a backstory explaining...

When people ask me how far a long I am I always respond in weeks, they then want me to interpret how many months that is. I just stare at them. Months? Really? Um... yeah I don't think of this as months, I just try and make it from week to week! But, I do the math and state the months and some odd weeks. Then the next question oddly, even to those who somewhat know me, ask me if this is my first.

I never know how to respond to that.

It's always this hesitant "technically yes but then technically no." Then they look at me funny. Who knows what they are thinking so without going into a long complicated back story I simply say "I was a foster parent to little ones once before."

And then I get another stare with a question "wait, how old are you?" And I sigh and respond "Yes, I am 26, I know I turned 18 and stopped growing."

But, I think even those close to me forget that I was once before a mom to a newborn infant, twice in fact, and I was a parent to a 3 year old little boy. And those were amazing days. They certainly prepared me for motherhood a second time around for sure. Someone stated once they wish they could have a trial run before they have kids, I jokingly said "be a Foster Parent! Not only are you helping the children but you are learning yourself!"

I was half way serious.

I miss those little boys ever so much. Especially one in particular which most of us know who. I suppose I think back on it now and see that we both gave each other something amazing. He prepared me to be a Mom to this soul that I am bearing. He taught me patience and unconditional love. He showed me I had the ability to snuggle and take care of someone else. He helped me be understanding with other with children. I am prepared to know what my life will be like. I honestly would be a bazillion times more scared than I already am if I was not able to care for that little infant from three days old to 13 months. It is also crazy to think about that he will be 3 years old here in a few weeks.

So I guess to answer the question, this is my first natural born child but not the first child I have had and loved. I am not terrified because I know what kind of mom I am and what I can do to be a better mom. I feel completely blessed I was able to be the mom that infant needed his first year and that here I get another chance to be a mom again.

People say to me "be prepared your life is never going to be the same." I have news for those people, my life was never normal and I am excited that it won't ever be the same. How many do get a chance to try it out first?