Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A Change...

Looking through my old posts I feel like I have progressed and retracted even worse some things I feel like I am in the exact same position.

However, I think that it isn't entirely a bad thing. Just means I haven't made certain things a priority, because other things were.

I am going to admit something to the entire world. Since my pre-pregancy weight I have gained 85 pounds. WOW. I feel clumbsy, awkward and depressed. I thought maybe it was what I was eating, granted I haven't made the best eating choices and I love my Mt. Dew, however, a lot of it is because I don't eat enough and what I ate wasn't exactly the best thing for me. When I counted calories some day I only consumed 600!

I also have a water retention issue so half of the month I feel even more heavy and more awkward. I knew there was a problem and I thought I was doing everything I could. But, now that school is over and I have a moment to breathe I realize that I honestly didn't do enough. In July I lost 12lbs but it wasn't the good way and my doctor actually didn't like it. She said it was too fast and not the right way.

It has been nice now that school is done. Yay. The last four days in a row I have been doing some sort of physical activity. I feel much better, happier and I love how I feel afterwards. I am going to make it a goal to be a size 16, maybe 14, by the end of the year. There is another certain goal I have in mind and I am also wanting to wear this beautiful dress for that goal. (No, not getting married!) I am currently a size 18/20. I think if I continue a good eating habit, do a daily workout and every night do crunches I think that should easy be obtainable. I have no excuses and nothing to stop me.

I am not doing this for anyone but me and to avoid any possible health issues. I have a goal to do some backpacking next year, more than just hiking trip. So here it goes .

Today also would have been my nine year anniversary if I was still married. Interesting I barely gave it a thought. Just more like, a nostalgic sneeze. The more I grow the more I realize what I learned from it and what I want as I start my dating life again!

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